As moms we almost always feel like a hot mess, amirite? We laugh about it, we joke about it, we sometimes panic about it, but we know it to be true. However, I’ll be the first to admit, that sometimes I forget other moms also feel like a hot mess. I get caught up in this narrative in my head that I’m a hot mess, I’m the only hot mess and look at that mom over there juggling her coffee and baby like a pro, she’s not a hot mess.

Newsflash: she is.

You know that mom who looks showered, well rested, clothed like a human and is smiling? She’s a hot mess. But, I’ll also be the first to admit that sometimes I get judgy when I see “put together mom” and I might think things like, “well she must have help” or “she must be a stay at home mom” (fyi, I stay at home) or even “ugh, she’s so perfect.”

But here’s the thing, that thought pattern does so much damage. It hurts my own psyche, but it also prevents me from going up to that mom and offering a smile, a helpful hand or words of friendship. In the last several years I’ve discovered that sometimes the “perfect moms” are the ones who need a friend the most. And, SOMEtimes people think I’m the perfect mom. Hahahaha, ok that’s not true, I haven’t showered in weeks, but I can dream.

Anyway, sometimes we need to check ourselves. We are all in this together. There are so many different kinds of moms out there and it’s not fair to judge another mom just because she looks like she’s got it together, or for any reason, really.

Whether she’s dressed to the nines, in sweats and a dirty tank, yoga pants or a business suit, she’s your fellow mom, and we all need each other.